Random randomness
by The Alleycat Ulan
Summary: "Hello and welcome to our BDaman talent night!" Every thing the characters do in this story is done completely unwillingly. She who controls the keyboard controls the story. The characters must obey her. Evil laughter
1. Poor Bierce

Disclaimer: I don't own Battle Bdaman

Hey people! I'm back! As it says in the summary, I wrote this story because I was bored, high and had access to the computer, lol. I fixed most of the mistakes I could find, but any tips are welcome. (I am a little more sane right now than I was when I posted my first story!)

Enjoy!

* * *

It was a beautiful sunny spring day in a beautiful meadow full of beautiful flowers and cute, cuddly and in generally fluffy animals. Beautiful birds were singing beautiful songs. In short, everything was beautiful. Makes you want to throw up, doesn't it? 

To make things worse for some reason everyone was dressed in frilly pink dresses and even worse, acting like hippies.

Yamato and Gray were having a competition to see who could make the longest daisy chain, while Li was threading Wen's hair with the flowers they'd just finished picking together (You don't want to know what they'd been doing together before that). Bull was tie dying random pieces of cloth in extremely bright colours under Armada's instruction. Liena was sitting in a tree, doing that 'He loves me, he loves me not,' thing with a bunch of flowers Enjyu had just picked her. Enjyu, himself was picking Liena another bunch of flowers, at the same time singing a random love ballad off key. Terry was lecturing a random carnivorous animal on the wrongs of eating other living things and Mie was making tofu and carob cookies in an oven, which, conveniently, sat in the middle of the meadow.

Well, at least they're not the 'naturalist' kind of hippy a subconscious thought thought. But just as that subconscious thought was thought it was no longer a subconscious thought as the frilly pink dresses were replaced with … well…nothing...

Long pause (Actually there's not really a long pause, the author just decided to type that there was one to make it sound good and take up time between now and when Biarce starts screaming)

Biarce sat up with a scream. He was panting and sweaty.

"What a bad dream! I don't think I'll be able to get back to sleep," He said, then rolled over and threw an arm around the figure lying in the bed next to him.

There is now another pause (A real one this time)

Biarce yanked his arm back and screamed, loud and girlishly. The figure sat up.

"Geez, Biarce, no need to make such a fuss," Yamato said in a high pitched voice sitting up and rubbing his eyes. Biarce's eyes widened as he realised that Yamato was wearing in a pink frilly dress.

He screamed again.

The door opened and the all the boys walked into the room, wearing pink frilly dresses.

Biarce screamed again.

Someone switched the light on.

Biarce screamed once again.

Everyone's faces were covered in make up and Terry was wearing a blonde wig.

Biarce, yep you guessed it, screamed again. But this time as he did so, he sprang out of bed and jumped out the window.

Strangely enough, at the exact moment Biarce jumped from the window a cliff with really sharp rocks at the bottom appeared right below it.

Biarce continued to scream as he plummeted to his death.

There was a **SPLAT** then the cliff disappeared.

Yamato walked over to look out the window. "Oops,"

"Great shot, Yamato. You killed him," Gray said going over to look out the window as well.

"Hey!** I** didn't kill him!" Yamato exclaimed.

"You're the one who made him jump out the window and this **was **your idea," Wen said.

"He jumped out the window on his own!" Yamato cried.

There is now the third pause/silence of this story

Finally Terry spoke.

"Why am **I **the one who had to wear the wig?!" He asked. Everyone shrugged, walked out of the room and went back to bed.

**The next morning**

Mie looked at everyone seated around the table eating breakfast frowning a bit.

"Where's Biarce?" She asked finally.

"Oh, Yamato killed him last night," Terry said casually without looking up.

"Terry!" Yamato exclaimed, the same time Mie was surrounded by fire and exclaimed; "WHAT?!"

Terry shrugged.

"**You** made me wear the wig!" He said pointing at Yamato.

The fourth pause (Mie is breathing deeply, a vein near her temple is twitching and Yamato is attempting to kill Terry while everyone else eats popcorn and watches)

The door opened with a strong gust of wind. Mie glanced at it, _I really should get that fixed _she thought.

Bull got up and shut it.

Just as Bull sat down the door opened again. This time someone was standing in the door way. It was…

"BIARCE!" Everyone exclaimed. Biarce stood in the doorway, a cute little halo hung above his head and he had beautiful white wings sprouting from his back.

"I thought I killed- I mean I thought you were dead," Yamato said nervously as Mie was still watching him and twitching.

Biarce shrugged.

"You did. But it was boring being dead so I thought I'd come back to haunt you," He explained taking off the wings and halo.

"Plus, when you're dead you have to carry these around with you," He continued dumping the wings and halo in a rubbish bin that magically appeared. He sat down at table and began eating.

And they all lived happily ever after, except Biarce who technically wasn't living, Yamato who went to jail for murder and Terry who **somehow** got the blonde wig super glued to his head and had to have all his hair shaved off to get it off and then had to wear a wig anyway that only came in blonde.

But to find out more about Terry and the blonde wig:

"You're gonna have to tune in next time,"

So technically they won't ever live happily ever after if I have anything to do with it!

* * *

Thanks for reading!And please review! 

Oh and I've got somethings I'd like to ask everybody out there.

I need two or three screen names for my next chapter, they'll just be chatting about whether Terry is a boy, girl or gay. I know Chatroom fics aren't allowed but they won't be the whole chapter, just a few sentences.

And beware the randomness, I'm not explainnig this one yet.  
Enjyu/Liena  
Bunny or kitten?  
Simply just say one or the other.

Until next time!


	2. An Obvious Distraction

Hey guys, because I didn't like to second chapter I rewrote it and I like this version better. Well, for once I don't really have much to say, so read, enjoy and reveiw. I would really like to know if you liked this version or the other one better!

* * *

Terry muttered angrily to himself as he walked down the crowded, dusty street. He was well aware of all the strange 'Now there goes as strange...boy?' looks he was getting. 

If people (mainly fans) hadn't been questioning his sexuality before they were certainly going to be now.

Oh boy when he found out who did this... they were soo dead. Of course it was Yamato, he would have to wait until Mie raised enough bail money. Then he'd have go to jail for murder as well. Or assault at least.

It was not funny or fun to have a blonde wig glued to your head, especially if it was one with curly piggy tails and pink ribbons.

Finally he reached his destination. Or at least the destination I chose for him.

"Freedie-Bob Bingle's puffy hair and beauty salon"

"Why me?" Terry groaned and walked into the shop.

"Terry! Ooh ho, Terry boyo! Terry, Terry, Terry!" Frankie squealed, running and squeezing Terry in a tight hug.

As Frankie ( Terry knew his name because his name was on his name tag) hugged, Terry wondered how Frankie knew his name. Then he spotted the shrine.

The Terry Shrine.

And it was **not** the 'wow, Terry's a great Bdaplayer' kind of shrine that Terry hoped all his boy fans had. No. It was more the 'OMG! I LOVE TERRY SOO MUCH!!!' fangirl kind of shrine.

Terry glanced around nervously and realised two things.

One: There were no girls in the salon.

Two: Frankie's name was on the sign that said owner and manager. Even though the shop was called "Freddie-Bob Bingle's"

Also Frankie had released him.

Terry backed away slowly.

"Oh no you don't!" Frankie said pouncing on him. "We've got some serious work to do!"

"Nooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!" Terry screamed as Frankie and the rest of the salon closed in on him.

* * *

When Terry woke up there was a familiar face looking down on him. 

"Gray?"

"How are you feeling?" This question was asked in a strange way, but foolishly Terry ignored it.

"Good…Where are we?" Gray frowned.

"Whadda ya mean?" Terry sat up.

"Where are we? And... Why are we in the same bed?"

"Don't you remember Theresa?"

"Theresa? I'm Terry," Gray examined him closely.

"Terry?"

"Yeah, Terry," Gray's eyes widened.

"**OH MY GOD**!!!!" Gray yelled jumping out of the bed.

(Awkward pause, since Terry realises they are both stark naked.)

"I mean, oh my God why I call you Theresa?" Gray said quickly.

"Oh, anyway, what happened? I don't remember anything after going into the hair salon and being attacked," Terry said.

"Oh, well, I ah…saved you…from the hair salon…and then took you here," Gray explained slowly.

"Soo…why are we naked?" Terry asked.

"Oh…umm you see…our clothes were…dirty…so I sent them to …be cleaned,"

(Haha, yes I like pauses, they add to the drama)

"Ok" Terry said chirpily getting out of the bed and going to the bathroom.

(Yes, another pause)

Terry screamed.

"Why is there a wig on my head and my face covered in make up?"

Gray walked in.

Terry turned o him.

"**Why**?" He said in an extremely evil sounding voice pointing to his face and head..

"I don't know," Gray said, holding up his hands in defence.

"You mean you didn't notice when you rescued me?"

"…"

"Well?"

"I was…distracted…"

* * *

There ya go! Hope you liked it. Next chapter should be coming soon...ish. 

What's the next chapter about? Here's a preveiw.

_Chapter 3_

_The sun was shining, the birds were singing and fluffy white bunnies were dancing with the daisies. Nothing could ruin this perfect day._

_"YAMATOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!" The world shook. The birds stopped singing and the bunnies ran away to hide in their sweet little rabbity homes. Okay, so I was wrong._


	3. Here kitty

Hello again people!!!

Here's chapter 3. I thought I'd better update before I go on holidays! So here's chapter 3. Wait, I already said that. Anyway, there's a short appearance of Miroku, Sango and Kirara from InuYasha in this chap.  
Oh yes, that's right, if anyone has any ideas for future chapters they're welcome. In case you haven't already guessed, this story is really nothing more than a whole bunch of random one shots that may or may not be related lol.

That's all for now,

Read,

Enjoy,

And please review!!! You know you want to :)  
Hugs and cookies to the people who have already reviewed, thanks so much!!

* * *

The sun was shining, the birds were singing and fluffy white bunnies were dancing with the daisies. Nothing could ruin this perfect day. 

**"YAMATOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!"** The world shook. The birds stopped singing and the bunnies ran away to hide in their sweet little rabbity homes. Okay, so I was wrong.

Switch scenes to Mie's Cat Café.

The best word I can find to describe the Mie looked would have to be… furious… and scary…very… very… scary…

Yamato wondered in as though nothing was wrong, picked a random fruit from the basket on the counter, then changed his mind went to the fridge and pulled out a sardine sandwich. He did all this oblivious to Mie's killer stare. Yamato pulled out a stool and perched on it chewing happily.

"Yo what up Mie?" He asked. A vein twitched near Mie's eye. At that moment Armada happened to wonder into the room in a quest for food, he took one look Mie and backed out hurriedly. Mie twitched again. Yamato stared at her and chewed innocently. Mie took a deep breath.

**"YAMATO! HOW MANY TIMES HAVE I TOLD YOU TO CALL ME MUM! AND SECOND THING MISTER, HOW MANY TIMES HAVE I TOLD YOU NOT TO LEAVE THINGS LYING AROUND! YOU CAN TAKE WHATEVER IT IS YOU PUT IN THE KITCHEN BACK TO WHERE IT CAME FROM OR I WILL PUT IT SOMEWHERE VERY UNPLEASANT AND UNCOMFORTABLE!!!!!!"**

The world shook for the second time that day. Mie drew a breath to continue her rant. Yamato, who had been knocked off his stool, held his arms over his head and prayed that once all this was over she'd still let him go to the movies that evening.

**"IF YOU JUST LEAVE THINGS LYING AROUND SOMEONE IS GOING TO GET HURT! AND IF SOMEONE GETS HURT BECAUSE YOU CAN'T PUT THINGS BACK WHERE YOU GOT THEM FROMI CAN NAME ONE MORE PERSON WHO WILL BE IN THE HOSPITAL AND I WON'T BE PAYING THE MEDICAL BILLS!"**

There was lots more shouting, vein twitching, random characters entering the room then exiting again but I can't be bothered to write it all down.

(There is a pause as the reader imagines what Mie was shouting, while Mie herself is catching her breath)

At that moment Enjyu entered the room. Or if you want me to be precise Enjyu skipped into the room dressed in a pink frilly dress followed by all sorts of cute, cuddly and in general fluffy critters singing;

"Zippity do dah, Zippity day, my oh my what a wonderful day!"

(A long pause of stunned silence, as Enjyu continued to sing and skip)

Enjyu disappeared into the kitchen.

(There was another long pause as Mie and Yamato stared at each other dumbfounded and the author ran around in circles in front of her computer singing; I love to write about long pauses)

There was a scream from the kitchen.

All the cute little animals ran out in fright. The background music (what background music?) ground to a halt.

Mie and Yamato stare at the door leading to the kitchen.

A huge looming, scary looking shadow could be seen.

Mie and Yamato screamed.

Everyone came running down the stairs to see what was wrong.

"What's wrong?" Gray asked.

Liena gasped. Miroku had, well if you know who Miroku is then you know what he just did. But if you don't know who he is, lets just say he touched her somewhere very inappropriate. He also asked if Liena would bare his child.

**SLAP!!!** x2 (The first one had been Liena and the second was Sango, although Sango didn't technically slap him, she just hit him over the head with her boomerang)

"Sorry about that," Sango apologised, while the cute animals that had been following Enjyu around at the beginning of this story now ran in circles around Miroku's head.

She grabbed Miroku by the ear and dragged him out the door.

"Come on Kirara!" She called over her shoulder. The huge looming, scary looking shadow that turned out to be Kirara bounded after her.

(Haha! Another pause. A pause of confused **and** stunned silence)

"Soo… why were you guys screaming?" Wen asked. Mie and Yamato exchanged glances and shrugged.

"Where's Enjyu?" Liena asked. Everyone shrugged nonchalantly and walked off.

(…pause…)

Liena gasped again. Everyone was back in less than a second.

"A kitten!" She exclaimed picking up the pink ball of fluff.

"Kawaii!" Everyone crowded around to pat the kitten and Enjyu was forgotten.

Well, not quite. You see, somehow upon entering the kitchen Enjyu was magically transformed (ooohh magical transformation) into a kitten.

Now Enjyu-kitty didn't like being **patted. **He felt that being touched all over by people, mostly guys, was invading his personal bubble. He finally lost it when Gray picked him up to check if he was a boy or girl. He hissed and scratched him. Ok, so maybe there were so advantages to being a kitten.

A satisfied smirk formed on Enjyu-Kitty's sweet little Enjyu-kitty mouth when Gray cried out in pain and conveniently dropped fluffy little Enjyu-Kitty. Much to Enjyu-Kitty's surprise, he landed on his feet. Another advantage to being a kitten.

"It's** evvvviiiiiiiillllllllllllll!!!"** Gray shouted pointing at Enjyu-Kitty. Please note the shout lasted a lot longer than that. So long in fact everyone stopped listening.

"You're not evil, you're just misunderstood," Liena said sweetly picking up Enjyu-Kitty.

Enjyu-Kitty: Stop calling me Enjyu-Kitty!!!!!

Me: Ah (considering)……No.

The evening passed and nobody even thought about Enjyu. Human Enjyu, that is. Everyone had paid attention to Enjyu-Kitty. Except for Gray, who'd sat in the corner and muttered about evil fluffy pink kittens taking over the world.

By the time everyone went to bed Enjyu-Kitty had discovered two more advantages to being a kitten.

One: When Enjyu-Kitty had refused to eat his kitty food Liena had allowed him to eat off her plate.

Two: Since Enjyu-Kitty didn't have a bed Liena let him sleep with her. In **her** bed. With **her**. Enjyu-Kitty was sleeping with** Liena**. He felt happy. Maybe it wasn't so bad being a kitten after all.

Alas the happiness would not last.

When Enjyu-Kitty woke up, he realised two things:

One: He was in bed with Liena.

Two: He was human again and was completely** naked**.

But cool, level headed Enjyu-Kitty did not panic.

Enjyu-Kitty: I'm not a kitten anymore, so why are you calling me Enjyu-Kitty?!

Me: (shrugs) coz I can.

Instead, Enjyu-Kitty hopped out of the bed and made for the door. His plan was simple. Get out of Liena's room and into his own. And his plan would have worked perfectly, except for one minor problem.

Liena was a light sleeper. And it just so happened that the movement Enjyu-Kitty made getting out of the bed woke her. She rolled onto her side and opened her eyes. Startled Enjyu-Kitty turned and faced her.

(Pause, yes a pause. You would pause too)

(PS. Have you noticed that in my stories pause are often followed by screams?)

Liena screamed. Gray, since he was Number One on the Liena Scream Response Team (Hehe that rhymes), was the first person to respond. He leapt out of bed and was in Liena's room before she'd finished screaming.

Gray took in the situation in, in three words.

**Enjyu **(-Kitty)

**Liena's Room**

**NAKED**

(Okay, so that was four)

Gray responded with three words:

"You're so** DEAD**"

(Yeah, that's four words too)

Of course, Gray not being one to lie then proceeded to chase Enjyu-Kitty out of the room and all over the Bda World.

The End.

Please note: That Enjyu-Kitty was stark naked the whole time he was being chased by Gray. A Fan-girls dream.


	4. Bdatalent Night

**Postathon Item 3/14**

Gosh it's been a long time since I posted in this particular fandom and I'm so sorry!!

I really can't think of any good excuses other than I'm lazy, very very lazy. So sorry!

Hope you guys enjoy this and I hope I can make up for my long absence!

* * *

"Hello and welcome to our BDaman talent night

Every thing the characters do in this story is done completely unwillingly. She who controls the keyboard controls the story. The characters must obey her. (Evil laughter)

This story begins with an empty stage.

**POP **

Gray appears out of no where dressed like a cheerleader, Yamato, Bull, Terry, Wen, Li and Enjyu appear in the background also dressed like cheerleaders. While everyone tries to figure out what just happened, music starts and Gray suddenly starts singing in a girly voice.

"I'm sexy, I'm cute! I'm popular to boot!  
I'm bitchin', great hair! The boys all love to stare!  
I'm wanted, I'm hot! I'm everything your not!  
I'm pretty, I'm cool! I dominate this school!"

The guys are all doing complicated cheer moves. Completely unwillingly, of course.

Gray has absolutely no control so he kept singing.

"Who am I? Just guess! Guys wanna touch my chest!  
I'm rockin'! I smile! And many think I'm vile.  
I'm flyin', I jump! You can look but don't you hump! Whoo!  
I'm major, I roar! I swear I'm not a whore!"

The music stops and the boys sigh in short lived relief.

**Pop **

Now Terry's at centre stage, wearing and apron and holding a plate of strawberry milkshakes. The boys are dressed casually and sipping milkshakes.

Now it's Terry's turn to sing.

"My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard,  
And their like  
It's better than yours,  
Damn right it's better than yours,  
I can teach you,  
But I have to charge"

**Pop**

Enjyu takes Terry's place, he dressed just like normal. Liena appears in the front row.

"I'm too sexy for my shirt  
Too sexy for my shirt  
So sexy it hurts"

Enjyu sang and started stripping. Liena covered her eyes and both Gray and Wen were frozen in place because other wise they would be trying to kill Enjyu.

The music changes and Enjyu starts singing a new song.

"Who likes short shorts? I LIKE SHORT SHORTS!"

**Pop**

It's Wen's turn now and so, of course he sings.

"Ding-a-ling-ling-ling-ling-ling-ling-ling!

Boo-ba-doo-ba-doop!

Boo-ba-doo-ba-doop!

Ring ring ring ring ring ring ring

Banana phone

Ring ring ring ring ring ring ring

Banana phone

I've got this feeling, so appealing,

for us to get together and sing. Sing!"

And because I find this song so funny he'll sing just a little bit longer while the rest of the gang dances around in giant banana suits.

"Ring ring ring ring ring ring ring banana phone

Ding dong ding dong ding dong ding donana phone

It grows in bunches, I've got my hunches,

It's the best! Beats the rest!

Cellular, modular, interactivodular!"

**Pop**

Here's Yamada!

"There's a cat in the kettle at the Peking Moon  
The place that I eat every day at noon  
They can feed you cat and you'll never know  
Once they wrap it up in dough, boy,  
They fry it real crisp in dough"

Everyone else is in the seats and eating Chinese whether they want to or not.

**Pop**

Li is standing with the microphone in his hand while I the all powerful author debate on a song for him to sing. The circus music plays and the guys dance around dressed as clowns while I continue to think…

Then Li suddenly sings very quickly.

"I am the very model of a modern Major-General,  
I've information vegetable, animal, and mineral,  
I know the kings of England, and I quote the fights historical  
From Marathon to Waterloo, in order categorical;  
I'm very well acquainted, too, with matters mathematical,  
I understand equations, both the simple and quadratical,  
About binomial theorem I'm teeming with a lot o' news,  
With many cheerful facts about the square of the hypotenuse."

**Pop**

Now stemming from sudden and random inspiration it's time for a duet. Enjyu drives on screen in a shiny pink porche.

"Hi Barbie," He says pulling up alongside Gray.

"Hi Ken!" Exclaimed a pink clad cross dressing Gray.  
"Do you wanna go for a ride?" Enjyu asked, tilting down the dark sunglasses he was wearing so he could see Gray more clearly.  
"Sure Ken!" Gray exclaimed again.  
"Jump In..." Enjyu smiled opening the door for Gray who giggled girlishly and jumped in.

Enjyu drove off. Or at least pretended to, really the car ran but didn't go anywhere it was just the background that changed.

After a few seconds Gray stood up and began to sing.

"I'm a barbie girl, in the barbie world  
Life in plastic, it's fantastic!  
you can brush my hair, undress me everywhere (The author laughs manically at this line)  
Imagination, life is your creation,"

"Come on Barbie, let's go party!" Enjyu joined in.

"Oh oh oh yeah," Gray sang.

Oh and if you were wondering about everyone else, they were free to enjoy this little display. They even got complimentary popcorn.

**Pop**

I, the author take centre stage.

"And they danced on into the night!"

Literally translated that means I ran out of ideas. ;P


End file.
